I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
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