glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
