dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
