a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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