ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
