I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
