she woke up with a sticky ear
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
