Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
it glows. i had to have it.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
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