im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
