We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Jerry, you need to find god
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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