The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
