I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
