I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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