he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
