I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
