I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
