one might say we're banned from that church
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
