Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
