Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
