the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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