Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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