He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
The cops high fived after they tackled you
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
