I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
