You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
