I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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