I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
