It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
There's always time for handjobs
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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