what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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