i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
