your thong is hanging out like whoa
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
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