well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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