ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Hello my rib-scented angel!
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
