I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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