I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
