well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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