I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
