we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
