Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
