I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
my being single is dangerous.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
