great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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