oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
