If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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