I cockslap morals
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
