and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
It's Friday. Sex?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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