Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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