a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
