Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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