...so i touched it.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
My ass is underappreciated
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
