My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
