Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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